We're super pleased to announce the release of Version 33.0 XY! Yes, it's been a long time with nary an update, but with the economic slow turn and all, we had to suffice with only local software updates. You understand. The new and improved Version features the following upgrades:
Boldly goes where no boy has gone before (in terms of girls' hair accessories)!
*Girl's red headband sold separately
*American flag sold only as part of Deluxe Holiday Acce$$ory Package.
Pees in the potty and other fun bathroom-break features!
Sometimes! Totally unpredictable!
Hides behind couches or under tables and bar stools to poop! If he's missing, you'll know why!
Insane language advancements!
Gone is the large, strong, but silent age. This version talks plenty:
I scared of tunder
MOMMA! It's doyk outside!
MOMMA! I come with you!
No! Momma do it! (in reference to absolutely everything)
I have dessert.
I done sleeping.
MOMMA! I watch video on your compooter.
Tank you for the food. Tank you for mommy and daddy come home. Amen!
No, I small!
I watch Dora!
Say "Abre, por favor!" (as blocking entire width of staircase with arms. Kankoo, Dora.)
Oatmeelk (answer to "What do you want for breakfast?")
*samples above not representative. Version 33.0 XY starts speaking with "MOMMA!" 90% of time. Another 5% is preceded by MOMMA! MOMMA! MOMMA!
Conquered fear of "big water"!
Long-live the signature pose!
Built Ford-tough to last through wakefulness...
Can partially dress self!
Well, can occasionally get pants/shorts on in 10 step sit/stand/hobble/sit cycle. Can put on crocs on feet with 85% left-right accuracy.
New! Warlock Mode!
Give Version 33.0 XY any kind of stick and switch on Warlock Mode.
"I wave my wand and ZAAH!"
(taps wand on palm of left hand 3 times) "This wand..."
(kankoo, Dora Saves the Snow Princess)
This version does not address the following operating failures.
Suffocating reliance/dependence/obsession with MOMMA. MOMMA MUST DO ALL.
Often operates in rogue destruction/violence/throwing mode.
Often gets *peeved* when thwarted in ANY SMALL WAY, resulting in rogue mode.
We'll be working on these for the next version...