We have a standard answering machine hooked up to our telephone, but we also have voicemail that automatically came with our phone service. I've been really bad about checking our voicemail. By really bad, I mean, "forgot how to." When you get used to something (standard answering machine), then have something new and, really, kind of superfluous (voicemail for those rare times the answering machine doesn't pick up), it doesn't make too much sense to devote the brain space to remembering how to do such things as checking your superfluous voicemail messages.
Well, somehow, it came to me last night on how to access those voicemails. Not sure what happened. Faulty brain circuit? Divine intervention? Static electricity? Something caused me to suddenly remember you hit *99 and then your passcode and all of a sudden I was in voicemail retrieval mode.
"You have 32 messages. To listen to your messages hit 1..."
[1]
(Malebot voice): This is ____ Medical Center. For the patient born on ___ X, XXXX, this is a reminder of an appointment on April 10...
To delete, hit 7...
[7]
(Man's voice): This message is for Jose Gomez. I'm calling from ____Bank and would like to talk to you about your debit card. Please call me back at XXX-XXX-XXXX.
[7]
(static)
[7]
(Man's voice): Hi, this is Danny from _____auto insurance, calling you about the accident you were in yesterday. Please call...
[7]
(Fembot voice): This message is for Joes [phonetic spelling] Gomez. This is a courtesy message from ____Bank about your debit card....
[7]
(Malebot voice): This is ____ Medical Center. For the patient born on ___ X, XXXX, this is a reminder of an appointment on July 17...
[7]
(Fembot voice): This message is for Jose Gomez. If you are not Jose Gomez, please hang up. If this is Jose Gomez and you continue listening, this will confirm that you are Jose Gomez and have received this message. This is the law offices of ___, ____, and ____. We have been charged to collect your debt. Please call us at XXX-XXX-XXXX. Thank you.
[7]
[pause...click]
[7]
(Male voice): Hi, this is Danny from Cumberland Lumbar Yards on 16th street. You service our ???. We're having some issues with our ??? that needs repair. Could you give me a call to set up a time for someone to come out and fix our ???
[7]
(Fembot voice): This message is for Jose Gomez. If you are not Jose Gomez, please hang up. If this is Jose Gomez and you continue listening, this will confirm that you are Jose Gomez and have received this message. This is the law offices of ___, ____, and ____. We have been charged to collect your debt. Please call us at XXX-XXX-XXXX. This is the 2nd message. Thank you.
[7]
[pause....click]
[7]
(Female voice): Hi, this is H's mom - [Girl]'s friend from school. It's Friday and we have yet another snow day (even though there's no actual snow on the ground). H was wondering if [Girl] and her brother [Boy] could come over for a play date. We live on ____ and ____. Let me know. I'm at XXX-XXX-XXXX. Thanks.
[7]
***
Sadly, while I was able to access brain for how to access voicemail, I did not know how to fast-forward through the 32 messages. IT TOOK 20 MINUTES IN TOTAL TO DELETE ALL.
Splendid use of time.
p.s. We've had this number for 7+ years and Jose most certainly does not live here.


























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