Where's My Cape?

Thanksgiving Song

Sung to "You're the One that I Want" from Grease*

I got acid
It’s multiplying
And my sphincter- no control
Cause all this food you’re supplying
It’s esophagus frying!

You better sit up
Pass the Maalox
And the Prilosec PPI
You better sit up
To avoid the burn
This huge meal is gonna hurt

Nothin left nothing left of 4 desserts!

You're the pain in my chest
(you are the pain) Ger-er-erd Honey
The pain in my chest
(the pain in my chest chest), Ger-er-erd Honey
The pain in my chest
(the pain in my chest chest), Ger-er-erd Honey
The one I fear
Oh, golly dear.

If you're filled
with confections
and too stuffed with turkey,
alcohol in your system.
Feel bloat-ed.

You better sit up
Pass the Maalox (The Maalox)
And the Prilosec PPI
You better sit up
if you’re not gonna move
(don’t dare to move)
Or else your ‘gus will need repair

Are you full?
Yes, I'm stuffed down deep inside!

You're the pain in my chest.
(you are the pain) Ger-er-erd Honey
The pain in my chest
(the pain in my chest chest), Ger-er-erd Honey
The pain in my chest
(the pain in my chest chest), Ger-er-erd Honey
The one I fear
Oh, golly dear.

*Yes, I watched Glee last night, what of it?

With apologies to Irene Cara

What a Feeling!

First, when there’s nothing but a slow going stream

As your drool seems to slide deep inside… your shirt

All alone I have cried silent tears for a bite

Of a cake made of sugar, made of gold…

Well I hear the music, close my eyes, see the frosting

Twirl around, take a hold of my fork…

What a feeling (I’m eating cake now!)

Eatin’s believing (I’m loving cake now!)

I can eat it all, now I’m higher than a kite….                           

Take your veggies (Throw it out now!)

And your fiber (Who needs fruit now?)

Parties come alive, you can eat cake all the time!

What a feeling!

* please do not ask what happened to the shirt. We did not show up at the party looking like a hussy.
**did I mention we love cake?

With apologies to AC/DC

You Took Me All Night Long


He was a breast machine
His rooting bordered mean
He was the best damn suckler I had ever seen
He had these hungry eyes
And some loud-ass cries
Knockin’ me out with those gums that bite
Taking more than his share
Had me fighting for air
He cried for me to come with my boob in the air

‘Cause his crib starts shaking
His mouth was taking
My boobs were aching
And we were nursing and you-

Took me all night long

Pumping double time
On the suction lines
He was one of the kind, “Those boobs are mine all mine!”
He wanted no night rest
Just a pig-out fest
Made a meal out of me and then breakfast
Had to PureLan me down
To take another round
Now I'm back in the ring for another swig

‘Cause his crib starts shaking
His mouth was taking
My boobs were aching
And we were nursing and you-

Took me all night long

We will we will wash you

Announcer: As a follow-up single to the popular Baby Got Back, KC's next single off her debut album Rock It To Me Baby features a song originally by Queen.



Jolie you’re a joy but kind of like a boy
Practicin’ to be a sumo wrestler some day
You got sweat on yo’ face
You big disgrace
Takin’ this washcloth all ova the place

We will we will wash you
We will we will wash you

Jolie you’re a brute-child, wild-child
Playin’ at the ‘ground gonna take some serious Tide today
You got woodchips on yo’ face
You big disgrace
Wavin’ your stink-butt all ova the place

We will we will wash you
We will we will wash you

Jolie you’re a big mess, brown-ness
Scrubbin’ with soap “gonna clean your folds” I say
You got dirt on yo' face
You big disgrace
Somebody better get those stains erased

We will we will wash you
We will we will wash you


*Next song rips off AC/DC. Stay tuned. Don't change that dial!