Where's My Cape?

What I did on my blizzard staycation, Part 4

Photo-documentary

At the height of the weekend blizzard

Rare moment of non-Satanic possession

Cabin Fever, Exhibit A.

Attack of the ginormous mutant S'more 
  
   

Wind-swept snow into fondant landscapes (Blizzard 2)

Cabin fever, Exhibit B.

 

What I did on my blizzard staycation, Part 2

I don't  know why everyone seems to be looking forward to hearing Part 2 since I already indicated it was a dark (black, awful, rotten, stinking) chapter of the staycation, but anyway, the Lowlights of Sunday (since there were no highlights):

• Hurt. All over. But, especially any muscle on top half of body (a.k.a. The Shoveling Martyrs)
• Both children WHINING. FIGHTING. When not WHINING or FIGHTING, they are ANNOYING ME.
• Boy wants to be held. Now. Also now. And now. Can you hold me now? Not sitting, STANDING UP, MAMA! STAND UP! Your arms could use the extra workout, fyi.
• Ibuprofen. Tylenol. Coffee. Need IV.
• Nanny NOT HOME YET. Feel deserted and left to die.
• Called service Sat night to shovel our LONG shared driveway that is currently filled with 30 in of snow. Between me and couple next door, WE ARE IMPOTENT AGAINST THIS MUCH SNOW. Supposed to arrive at noonish. Leave sweet, pleasant, non-desperate message at 3pm saying (nicely): DONDE ESTA?
• If I wasn't sure if I was going to contract Boy's virus that also now has infected GIrl, my SHAKING CHILLS answer the question for me. (more hints: headache, abdominal pain, fever, more chills)
• Whining, fighting, annoying continue with a good dollop of IGNORING ANYTHING I SAY thrown in.
• Put on sweatshirt on top of sweater, in addition to long underwear and warm up pants. Still freezing.
• Find AND APPLY SNUGGIE TO MY PERSON.
• Walk around wearing SNUGGIE, barking useless orders to mutinous crew. It is straight out of a nightmare. NIGHTMARE IN THE SNUGGIE.

Sorry, one highlight:

• MIL arrives on the scene! She came to "check up on us" and must have sensed I was slowly dying. Had to park far away and hoof it; apparently roads are like winters in the wild west. Entertains Girl while I shiver under snuggie and hold Boy. MIL shovels a path to the street! MIL is awesome.

Back to lowlights:

• MIL leaves.
• Call Nanny. DONDE ESTA? She's coming later tonight. OR SO SHE SAID.
• Fevers, chills, and all-around bodily joy escalate
• Children with frequent crying, bickering, still not listening. Chant "Cook-ie! Cook-ie!" as I try to corral them to sit down to DINNER.
• Small eruption.
• Give them a double bath. More bickering, fighting.
• Lose it right there, next to the tub. Start crying. Beg them to get out now since Mommy DOES NOT FEEL WELL. Head pounding. Just want to curl up in bed and sleep.
• Girl climbs out, hugs Mama. Tiny moment of empathy.
• Boy oblivious. Takes another 5 minutes to get him out.
• Finally sleep early, woken up at 9 pm by call from plowing service. Will be here in an hour. Thanks, but no thanks. Dude it's TOO LATE.
• Girl coughing too much, can't sleep, in my bed by 2 am. Now have coughing in my ear and sounds of her violent sniffling. Sleep quality has gone way down.
• Realize at 2am as I'm downstairs trying to find Girl's medicine, that nanny has NOT RETURNED. Doom.

There. Good times.

What I did on my blizzard staycation, Part 3

Hope you didn't want any bananas.

Or milk.

*Miniature photos taken with a Blackberry Curve (a.k.a. My mini-Nikon)

**No, you didn't miss Part 2 of the series. Part 2 is too heinous to put into words right now, but tentatively titled "Bleak House." It was seriously. not. cool.

What I did on my blizzard staycation, Part 1

Saturday highlights:

• Looked outside window. Understood gravity of situation. Cried a little for the muscle fibers that would give up their lives today.
• Got kiddies up and dressed. Convinced them we should all do some Wii Yoga.
• Turned on Wii and got berated by robot voice for not coming back in 6 days. Expected beating.
• Got through 2 yoga poses before Boy declared "I Eat." End of that story. Wii Fit highly disappointed in me (nothing new).
• Got crew snowsuited to do some Blizzard Play (aka Mama shovels until muscle fibers die time). Boy lasted approximately 30 seconds before whining noises started and wanting his hand held and/or carried. Summon help of nanny  to watch kids inside even though she is not actually working today but clearly, THIS IS A SNOW EMERGENCY. If no path to outside world, NO ONE SURVIVES.
• Finish shoveling paths (trenches) down front walk and one behind house to garage - snow is waist high on either side. Trench is exactly width of one shovel mouth. Back/shoulders give agonal breaths.
• Nanny flees in 2ft snow to "help friends."
• SuperWhy, Dora, Wiggles.
• Take 800 mg motrin left over from post-partum period 2 years ago.
• Bake chocolate chip cookies. From scratch! Not from refrigerated cookie dough tube!  Have not made these in a long time. Boy and Girl stir and dump measuring cups into bowl. Have little hope for cookies given their performance. Very low expectations. You know those mutant ones I speak of.
• Introduce children to their FIRST EVER CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE DOUGH tasting. Shhhh. Children enjoy introduction immensely.
• Cookies look/taste like cookies! For real! Very pleased. We all have one warm gooey one each.
• Fort constructed out of bedsheet, kitchen barstools, 2 kid chairs.
• 2 of us have naps (Girl did not end up sleeping, sadly. But I did- SCORE!)
• Cookies and milk afternoon snack. Shhhh.
• Got kids set up painting while I went to RE-CLEAR the freaking trenches. Want to stay ahead of the snow. Come back in and find paint not confined to paper and adorning multiple body parts and door frames.
• Cut Boy's hair with electric clippers for 2nd time. Looks decidedly better than first time. CUTE! Getting a hang of it.
• Double bath.
• Back to WiiFit to finish what I started with kids doing poses next to me. Boy doing Warrior pose OMGcute. Girl loves downward dog.
• Do a WiiFit game involving balance and coordination. I score low: "Unbalanced." Harsh, much?
• Make dumplings for dinner. Did the unthinkable in Husband's absence. Had ROOM TEMPERATURE Sauvignon blanc. Shhhh. Did not have the time/patience to allow proper chilling. Clearly, this was a blizzard staycation emergency.
• Deal with girl who refuses to sleep since she's afraid the lights will go out and they are flickering. Ask why she's opening her eyes when she's supposed to sleep. Girl tries every trick in book to not sleep - heavy drama. Finally get her to try.
• Prediction for tomorrow: Motrin, Wine, exhaustion.

Name that lump

And it is still snowing. *sob*