Where's My Cape?

Olympic glory

Me: I guess I should give up my dream of ever winning an Olympic medal.

Husband: You never know. They're always adding new sports...

Me: Like Internet surfing?

Four-letter word

Girl: How do you spell donkey?

Me: D-O-N  K-E-Y

Girl: Then what's "D-K-N-Y?"

 

When Irish eyes are smiling

Girl: I wish we were from Ireland.

Me: Why?

Girl: Because then we'd be Irish and I would know 3 languages: English, Spanish from Dora, and Irish talk.

 

The imaginative powers of a 3 year old

We're in the car Saturday morning and Boy starts saying he doesn't want to go to swimming lessons.

Me: Knowing how to swim is very important--it helps keeps you safe in the water.

Girl: Yeah, and if you don't know how to swim, you'll drown and die!

Boy: If you're small, you'll fit down the drain.

[laughter all-around ensues, first mine, then Girl's, then Boy's --who doesn't get the joke but wants to]

Boy's imagination and language are blooming - great for his development, not so great for sleeping at night when there's all kinds of shadows hiding monsters, nefarious light blinks, and evil-eyed smoke detectors.  I know we went through this with Girl, but somehow it was more do-able. Oh, yeah, since we didn't have 2 other little people around vying for our sleep deprivation attention. Even after moving Boy into Girl's room temporarily, he still gets "scar-eed." Hopefully, this will end soon.

And Boy2 will sleep through the night. (HA.) (But, seriously? Boy2 is so sweet and so far, the easiest baby of the 3. Loving him so, despite spending an obscene proportion of each day attending to his nutritional needs.)

Totally normal play 2

(Scene prop:bear with scarf covering head)

GIrl to Boy: We have to cover her head since she needs a shot.

Girl: She was in the war and they gave her a gun and then they shooted her. So she's bleeding. Get some band-aids.

Boy: OK! I bleeding too!

Girl: See all the red spots? That's where she needs to get bandaids. 200 boxes.

Girl: Catch her! Catch her! She's bouncing away to the fire! Put her in the basket! No, get the basket over here!

Boy: OK! (puts scarves in the laundry basket and carries it to the stairs)

Girl: Boy! The monster killed her!

Girl: Can you keep an eye on her so she doesn't move?

Boy: She's wet! She's going to jump in the showeh. Here comes the monster to kill him again!

Girl: Because the monster killed her in the fire, right?

Boy: Now he's in the fire now!

Girl: No! That's a fire skirt! It could spray fire on everyone! She's going to the repair shop! (Singing now) I'll miss you alot!

 

(Missing from above: My periodic comments all starting with, "Can we not talk about _____? [insert guns, monsters, killing, etc.]")

 

 

Bump status

Me (as we're walking out of Costco): I hope I look clearly pregnant now.

Husband: You do.

Me: And not like I just have a tubby belly. Or have Kwashiorkor.

Husband: No one who shops at Costco has Kwashiorkor.

(Running tally of unsolicited bump feels by non-family members: 2)

Word to the Secret Service

Girl: Do you know who I'm going to marry?

Me: Who?

Girl: You have to guess.

Me: Gavin.

Girl: No-- Wilson.

Me: You can't marry a cat.

Girl: Yes I can. I just have to ask Mr. Obama. And, I know he'll say yes. Because I know where he lives...The White House.

Totally normal play

Girl to Boy: I'm a doctor so I know what to do. But, it's terrible. For your boo-boo, I need to cut off your leg. Then, I leave it there for 3 hours and then tape it back together. I need more supplies. Stay there.

Boy: I done playing.

Girl: No, I'm not done. You're not done playing.

Death ed, part deux

[Scene: Outside deck seating at peaceful oceanside restaurant]

Girl: (loudly) YUCK! Those people over there are smoking! I smell it!

The Husband: Yes, they are.

Girl: (more loudly): Their lungs are going to turn black and then they'll DIE.

Death ed

Girl: After you die, you go into a box and they put a rock by your head.

Me: Where did you learn that?

Girl: From a book.

Me: That's an interesting book.

Girl: And then your body crumbles up.

Me: Hmm...

Girl: It's a book on fossils.