We are pleased to announce the release of Version 36.0 XY2, which replaces Version 28.0 XY2. This new and improved version offers the following upgrades:
More cuteness per squre inch!
Will you accept this rose?
Look! Real-time growth updates!
After finishing dinner nightly, Version 36.0 XY2 announces as he climbs down from his booster seat, "I eat A LOT! Now, I big!"
New favorite declarations!
Zert time? (occurs following a brief break after real-time growth update above)
There's no roof! (When trying to find a space in the Programmers' bed in the morning to wriggle in and snuggle.)
My forehead is hurt! (When perfectly well but trying to score some delicious medicine treat)
I wear my peeJAHMas to bed.
I want no dat. (a cousin of I want the dat.)
Because why? (said in multiples, despite receiving perfectly understandable explanations.)
Let me tell you...
I love it! (Said enthusiastically about things he loves or thinks he would love)
I can eat it? (When faced with some treat that is not being actively defended) Also derivatives: I can touch it? I can drink it? I can have it?
I tired / I not tired; interchangeable
I want Wheels on the Bus. (See next new feature)
Easily put Version 36.0 XY2 in a trance!*
*Warning: This version does not respond kindly to be taken out of a trance.
(Kindle and Children's YouTube videos sold separately)
Lifelike statue mode!
Activated during any toddler class show involving singing and dancing!
We would not feature a new version without this trademark obsession!
Lining up vehicles. Everywhere, anywhere, all. the. time.
Retains baby-like qualites for your babying pleasure!
In case you were worried that this version lost many of its dependent qualitites given its status as third product in this software company, not to fear. This version continues to have minimal ability/interest in putting on own clothes! Using the potty!
Activate self-deprecating mode with one-touch!
I'm an old lady!
I have no brain! (said with a smile)
One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seben, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve, Thirteen, Fourteen, Fifteen, Eleventeen!
Sings at top of lungs to signal conclusion of slumber until retrieved!
Doesn't even bother getting up from under the covers.
Answer to every question that starts with Who....? is Meeeeeeeeee
Ex: Who wants dessert? Meeeeeeeee
Who wants a piggyback ride? Meeeeeeee
Who wants a flogging? Meeeeeeee
You bad boy! (said to men, women, girls, and boys equally when unhappy with someone. ex: Mommy, you bad boy!)
Bonus holiday accessory pack for the first 100 callers!
*Comes with baby Santa hat, jingle bells, and super wrapping paper destruction mode.
This version does not address the following operating failures...
Improper use of anatomical terms for gentalia.
Announcing to female programmer: My peanut is BIG!
Reversion to primitive state when in the presence of rarely or never- before encountered persons.
Where primitive state = growling, roaring, and other non-human sounds with hands held up like claws.
No interest in the potty. None. "Version, do you want to try using the potty?" Answer: "When I'm older." Note Version 36.0 XY22 is OLD.
Whining. No let up.
Recalcitrance, associated with being peeved. I want Noooo sock! (substitute sock with absolutely anything)
We'll be working on these for the next version...