Everyone knows I don't run. Not recreationally anyway. I'm not opposed to running - in fact, I would very much enjoy being able to get into it and be that runner type - it's just that I was not built to run. Someone much more powerful than me decided KC + running = injury, fracture, disability and doom. I bike.* I do the elliptical.* Heck, I'll do the stair climber.* But don't make me run for fun and hobby (running for safety and buses still OK if done sparingly).
Which is why when the Husband texted me YESTERDAY that he signed us "all" up for a 5K/2K "fun" run THIS SATURDAY, I immediately texted back:
By *all* you mean...
Husband: Me. And You. And Girl. And Boy. And Boy2 in the jogging stroller.
(The man is on crack. Proof: He's done an IronMan triathlon more than once.)
Me: I hope they have a medical tent.
Husband: I'm a doctor.
/text convo for the day
Yes, I could walk it, but what able-bodied, relatively young person wants to walk it? Not this one. But that means running which is a bit problematic given the whole KC bone death equation.
So, today, I decided I would give it a trial run, so to speak, and hopped on the treadmill at the gym during Girl's swim practice. I seriously can't remember the last time I ran on a treadmill. It was a bad sign when after the first 10 SECONDS of running, I started to feel pain in both hips. Like weird, your-body-is-falling-apart, things-are-too-jiggly pain. Still determined to not make a fool out of myself on Saturday, I kept going. I ran a half mile. I walked a quarter. I ran another half. I walked. By the end, my legs felt like they had been pulverized by a food processor. (It only felt a tiny bit good to have really worked out after months of "exercising" in a manner that produced no sweat.)
While driving Girl home, I told her about my running woes in light of having to run on Saturday as a family.
Me: Running is just not my thing.
Girl (in all seriousness): What IS your thing? Fashion?
(I'm not making that up.)Maybe I can runway model patient gowns and gauze-themeed accessories while I'm hospitalized after doing the run. I mean, once I can walk again.