We're pleased to announce the release of Version 24.0 XY2 which addresses some of the known operating failures of Version 18.0 XY2. The new and improved version features the following upgrades:
Now! Names face parts!
*nb. gahjet is eerily similar to jacket in sound.
Even More Greedy Eating!
Look out diners! This version has a turbo-boosted appetite. Just when you think he couldn't possibly eat more, he comes back to eat off your plate.
*blueberry bagel sold separately.
Version 24.0 XY2 running is quite a sight. The arms go flailing out. The legs go kicking up all crazy behind him. There's extra bouncing than necessary. It is joyful to watch.
He loves Version XY. Loves, loves, loves him. He squeals upon seeing him each morning, claps, and says, "Yay!" He loves the Original Version as well, but the bromance is something else.
Look! New words and phrases!
MAMA, HELP! Often, only Mama can help. Also, Mama needs to be dragged around the house in order to help. This often means Mama has to get up from sitting or resting. Even when Mama is tired and wants to do the opposite of getting up and being dragged around the house.
Go. Home. Leep. (accompanied by head tilt and palm up to face) This is a sign that we've kept him out too late since it's dahk owside.
Bah-byeeeee poo-poo! Always glad to be separating from zee dirty diaper.
No touch. (Referring to a multitude of things he's been repeatedly warned not to touch because he wants desperately to touch them.)
As you can see, Nack is out of reach of small versions, but therefore is often accompanied by, "Up! Up! Up!" This Version has been progammed to believe that the only things in the house worth eating is with the Nacks. (with the sole exception of eye keem in the freezer)
All gone! Exclamation that saves us from providing more of a particular kind of foodstuffs.
Bone - Hard objects within/among food he is eating. Could be a bone from a spare rib, or the cob part of the corn, or an almond in trail mix.
Foon - Used to eat his beloved yogurt.
Open door - Used to command someone to open a door (thank goodness turning door knobs is still considered advanced), or to open any lid, cap, or top. Ex: While handing me a tube of toothpaste which he has no intention of using to brush his teeth, "Open door."
Fall down - Announced when this Version falls down, when someone else has fallen down, and when objects "fall down" after being propelled by his little hands using deliberate force. Such as a marshmallow-less bowl of Lucky Charms (What?).
No Mukick! This version loves his mukick at bedtime from his Fisher Price Aquarium (TM), that is, unless he's p.o'd about the bedtime situation. Then it's No Mukick! No Mukick! No Mukick! as he defiantly stamps his way around the crib to turn the Mukick off.
Not working - Version 24.0 XY2 is able to spot problems in normal operation pretty easily and declares them not working, usually accompanied by a request to change the "barrey", including items without "barries."
Eat dirt- After being let down from his pseudo-highchair perch at dinner every night, this version will walk around the table, come to Mama and ask to Eat Dirt. However, he is told each night that it's not time for Dessert (fruit or yogurt on school days), and he should play (i.e. allow adults to continuing eating in peace.)
Agua - the preferred word for water. Often said in a string of "Ah agua Ah agua Ah agua" in rapid succession.
Mimi - as in dormir (to sleep, Spanish). Bedtime consists of a sleep role call: Mama? (answer: mimi); Dada? (answer: mimi); Version XY? (answer: mimi); The Original Version? (answer: mimi); Cong cong? (answer: mimi); Po po (answer: mimi); Nana? (answer: mimi)...there are more.
Ven - Come. Accompanied by pulling of one adult's arm until dislocation or compliance is gained.
Look! New "confusion accessory bundle!" For a limited time only!
Accessory bundle includes 1 pair of used man-sized athletic shoes, white bow clip, Bearfriend, brown camo pants for hiding in....um...swamps? Socks not included (but recommended).
New and Improved Laugh!
Okay, maybe not new or improved, but his laugh is....magic. Standard with all Versions.
Blast from the past! Resurgence of Huggable bear!
In a surprise turn of events, this Version spied Huggable the Third (Fourth?) and has become attached to "Huh-ble." Usually carries Huhble around with Bearfriend, although Bearfriend is still his #1 love after all these years.
Now with a few songs in repertoire!
This version loves to sing. Favorites are: Wheels on the Bus, Rain Rain Go Away, the Alphabet song, Twinkle Twinkle. Trouble is, the words are all mashed up, as are the songs. An A for effort!
This version does not address the following known operating failures:
When Version 24.0 XY2 does bad things (scratches, bites, hits, pushes, pulls off Version XY's gahjets), he goes to Baby Jail. This used to be a corner of the living room behind an arm chair that effectively made a triangle cell...up until his dirty hand smudges were discovered all over said triangle's beautiful olive-gray walls. It is quite effective as this version will yell, "No Baby J L! No Baby J L! No Baby J L!" up until his placement into solitary confinement. (Although, at first, he kept forgetting that Baby J L was not actually a good thing and would request it....)
For the love of Eczema!
Moisturizing/steroid cream/cetaphil/zyrtec biz getting old. Waiting for a future Version to grow out of it already.
Periodic peevishness, tantrums, impatience
You call that, "top shelf?"
We'll be working on these for the next version...(Comparison shopping? Check out earlier versions XY and the Original (TM) Version.