We're very pleased to announce the release of the 2nd Anniversary Edition of Version XY! Version 24.0 XY addresses some of the known operating failures of Version 22.0 XY. The new and improved version features the following upgrades.
Now! With longer, more capable arm probes!
*please keep away from all appliances, liquid-containing vessels, toxic cleaning agents, electrical plugs, etc, etc.
More sophisticated language programming!
Start of typical day:
MAMA! MAMA! (repeated 1,000 times or until Mama is able to retrieve from crib)
Light! On!
Poopoo! Poopoo!
Boobuhsh! Boobaste!
Mah BAY-ah! Mah ELpent! (BFFs bear and elephant)
MOOB. MOOB. (accompanied by two-handed push)
Where GiGi?
Dowstairs!
I Eat! I Eat!
What dat?
NO! No bed! No bed! Bed! Bed! Bed! No milk. Milk! Juice! No Juice!
No shoes! No shoes! No shoes!
Done! Done! Done!
No barf! No barf! No barf! No jacket! No jacket! No hat! No hat! Hat.
Snow Face!
In snow conditions, Version 24.0 XY will keep an expressionless face to conserve vital bodily energy in times of extreme environmental stress. This saved energy expenditure will protect critical fat stores from depletion and increased core temperature.
*igloo not available for purchase. (anymore.)
So mellow, allows uncle to read him Golf Digest instead of an age-appropriate publication!
I'm in my self-soothing Signature Pose since I'm bored out of my gourd. Can we pees weed Goodnight Moon?
More powerful Ladies' Man magnetism!
Version 24.0XY has the charm, flirting, and winning looks that render women powerless, especially older women. Grandmothers at highway rest stops come from across the room to confess they have been admiring him from afar. Teachers call him their "Teddy Bear" and nuzzle his nose. He works it. And it works.
Cake love!
(If you're wondering about my Alfalfa 'do, I got 2 words for you: Signature Pose.)
This version does not address the following operating failures.
Signature Pose during meal times. While the signature pose is cute and all that, when performed in the middle of meal time, this results in depositing foodstuffs directly into hair. Fish may be the worst.
Too much need for self-efficacy. I do it. Even when I cants possibly do it. Then I needs you to do it. Hee-lp! Hee-lp! Hee-lp!
Pyromaniac. Obsession with bire and birebace. Birebace On! Bire tuck!
Situational Whiner. Whines. Alot. But only while Mama is around. (What?)
We'll be working on these for the next version...
Happy 2nd birthday to your little man! I love the signature pose but can imagine the grossness of fish in hair! Hope to see you IRL soon!
Posted by: Leticia- Tech Savvy Mama | Friday, January 08, 2010 at 12:59 AM
He's so so cute!!!
Posted by: Kyla | Friday, January 08, 2010 at 08:29 AM
Dude. You didn't even mention the pink-with-flowers mittens?
The "I do it MYself!" drove/still drives me insane.
Happy Birthday, not so little boy (and his mama).
Posted by: Manic Mommy | Friday, January 08, 2010 at 09:17 AM
I love the birthday cake picture! And the whining - oh how I hate the whining (that has to occur at least once a day if not every hour of the day).
Posted by: AJU5's Mom | Friday, January 08, 2010 at 04:59 PM
Leticia- Thanks and yes- gross- and yes -hope to see you IRL soon. What happened to our December GNO?
Kyla- It's seriously a crime. I feel sorry for dimples on other boys' faces.
Manic- Dude. of course you would notice that. His gloves were soaking wet after first round of blizzard play, hence the cold weather accessories box raid. xo
aju5's mom - the whining is terrible but clearly I enable him to do so. He never does it with his Daddy. =(
Posted by: KC | Friday, January 08, 2010 at 08:29 PM
I can't BELIEVE he's 2 already! His smile in the high chair pic really reminds me of his beautiful big sister :-)
And my friend, you are the funniest person I do not know in real life. God love ya.
Posted by: Hetha | Sunday, January 10, 2010 at 05:02 PM
Hey happy birthday JL!
and cake love seems to run in the family - I remember Jolie loves her cake too!
Posted by: anna | Monday, January 11, 2010 at 08:08 PM
Hetha- hopefully I will drop out of that esteemed status when we meet IRL one of these days! I AM headed to your neck of the woods in the spring...
anna- Thanks and yes. All dependents in the KC family are hardcore cake lovers. Scratch "dependents."
Posted by: KC | Wednesday, January 13, 2010 at 09:25 PM
Aw. I want 'em. Seriously.
Posted by: Lyn | Sunday, January 17, 2010 at 08:05 AM
He sure looks family friendly! Happy Birthday to your little guy!
Posted by: phd in yogurtry | Wednesday, January 20, 2010 at 09:50 PM
Lyn- In person? He is CUTER. I'm totally serious. It's criminal.
PhD- thanks! He is quite family friendly, not exactly pet-friendly, and definitely an enemy to food everywhere.
Posted by: KC | Thursday, January 21, 2010 at 09:13 PM
Happy valentine day!
Posted by: ugg boots | Tuesday, January 26, 2010 at 03:42 AM