Flat irons on the brain

When I got my TOTALLY RAD new haircut some time ago, my stylist whipped out a flat iron to apply to my head. I can't say I felt too comfortable at the time. I didn't know where she was going with my hair. She blew it out all poofy and then waved a steaming baton in the direction of my scalp. I don't know about you, but I get a little twitchy around steaming batons near my scalp. I'll go all out and say I get twitchy whenever an object actively projecting steam is placed in the general vicinity of my person. Maybe it's just me.

I've used curling irons in the past, during that ubiquitous 80's bang-sculpture era (first back, then forward), and hot rollers for that Asian hair rebellion phase, but never had I wielded a flat iron. The mere thought of it made me think back to the '60's when people ironed their hair. Right on the ironing board. It always seemed so drastic. And slightly ridiculous.

But after my stylist clamped a few sections of hair and gently released perfectly smooth and tailored sleek perfection, I've been coveting the flat iron.

This was reinforced when I went home and tried to reproduce the perfectly smooth and tailored sleek perfection and got nest frizz.

(Nest frizz is the antithesis to perfectly smooth and tailored sleek perfection.)

Even before BlogHer, I said to Husband, "Maybe I should bring a flat iron."

To which he said, "Do you even have a flat-iron?"

"No.(Your point being?)"

I didn't end up racing out to buy one at the time, but a few weeks later, found myself pulled to the beauty supply store at the mall one day. Along one whole wall unit were flat irons. Many. different. flat. irons. There were all sorts of brands I had never heard of. Different plate sizes. Most were above $100. I wandered, daft-like, to the saleswoman and asked for her guidance. Size? Type? I smiled my clueless smile.

She recommended a certain model. "That model is great! I use it!"

I took in her nest frizz and made a mental note to disregard this endorsement.

Which was when I realized I had no business trying to buy a flat iron in my current state of flat iron ignorance. No business at all.

Yet, since that time, I remain obsessed with flat irons and even dreamed I was flat-ironing my hair the other night. So, you see, I think my mind is trying to tell me something very important:

YOU NEED THERAPY.

(and please conserve precious brain energy on useful things, i.e. not related to your HAIR.)

Comments

[Mary]

My stylist talked me into a professional grade Paul Mitchell express ion flatiron. She showed me how to use it.

And I kid you not, it has improved my life almost, if not more than, xanax. It was dreadfully expensive, but my argument is that good hair is better than psychiatric care.

Don't feel bad about the obsession. Invest in a GOOD flatiron and you won't regret it.

Yes. This may be my shallowest moment yet, but you will understand one day.

[Kyla]

Isn't it funny what seeps into our dreams?

I have a cheapo flat iron and it works well enough, but after the stylist at the photo shoot used his fancy pants one and zipped through my hair, I've been eying the nicer ones quite a bit.

[qt]

I have to second Mary on this one - I spent $125 on a Solano flat iron and it lasted 8 years with almost daily use. Yes, I have been flat ironing my hair that long...

[Hetha]

I just got my hair cut pixie style short, so there are no flat irons in my future! Thank God because I HATE dealing with hair (and makeup). Total tomboy here.

[janet]

Wait, you WEREN'T flat ironing your hair at BlogHer??!!! You have some naturally sleek hair. I was flat ironing mine and yours still looked smoother. I spent about $100 on mine at a Beauty Supply store. It heats up in 2 minutes and it's awesome and I might marry it were I not already in a committed relationship. Just sayin'.

[kristen]

if i'd known about flat irons, i might just have long hair.

[Tranny Head]

So ... I have painfully straight hair. I have the opposite problem because my hair is so limp and pathetic I have to blowdry and/or use a curling iron just to try to coax some body and volume into the roots.

Just goes to show you that no matter what you have you always want somethign else, right?

[flutter]

CHI!!!

just sayin'

[jen]

i got a flatiron after blogher because of Nina. problem is Nina had a better flatiron!

[magpie]

Wow. I never learned how to be a real girl.

[Penny]

I fell in love with the Flat Iron in the last spring of 2005. I bought a cheap one. It ripped my hair out at the roots, fried my hair with it's metal and heat and took an hour instead of fifteen minutes. It cost about 30 bucks.

The ceramic flat iron is best. The super expensive one. The one that turns my hair into a sheet is nearly 200$. I haven't purchased it yet. But, I will. And, I highly recommend setting out to spend the better part of two hundred on a ceramic. You'll not regret it. ;)