Where's My Cape?

It's not easy being green

We got to the rental car counter and were all ready to rent our step-up from compact car when I saw the pretty picture of all the different cars they had. This was, no doubt, to lure impulsive fools like me into renting an upgrade. Look, said the woman-car-rental-gypsy, eyeing my weakness, you could rent a convertible! My eyes glazed right past the red convertible and the mega-2-ton SUV and settled on….a Prius! Ooh! A Prius! Honey, let’s get a Prius!

Sure sign that you are an old fogey.

They were out of Priuses. But, we could get a Camry hybrid. Let’s do it! And we entered the adult world of practical joy.

What fuel option did you want?

There were 3. Option #1: pay for a full tank of gas ahead of time for $3/gallon. Option #2: Have them top you off when you bring in the car at $8/gallon. Option #3: Fill the tank up yourself.

Clearly, we would not be going for option #3. Totally not happening.

So, I said pretty confidently, #1!

Car-rental-gypsy-woman said, yes, going to Napa? You’ll probably use a whole tank. She said this totally not convincingly.

We drove A LOT. All around. We stayed in Sonoma and traveled quite a bit to get to our various dinners. One road trip involved ME driving the DEATH ROAD between Sonoma and Napa.
As you can imagine, the “shortcut” between 2 neighboring valleys is to go over the  mountains in between. DO NOT EVER DRIVE ON THIS ROAD.

While driving on this road, I was suddenly taken back to 10 years ago when I’m pretty sure I was also driving this road, a road of DANGER and UNPLEASANTNESS. We’re talking about going on narrow, winding roads on sides of cliffs WITH NO GUARD RAIL. I did not like this road. Not one bit. It should be a sign whenever the road doesn’t end in “Road” or “Drive”, but “Grade.”

So not a fan of that road.

Anyway, having pre-paid for the whole tank of gas ahead of time, we were periodically checking the gas gauge WHICH HARDLY BUDGED. Dude. We drove for miles. We found ourselves ironically wishing to burn gas and make my fuel choice not a fail….while driving a hybrid. It was quite funny in an environmentally all wrong way.

In the end, we used maybe a half a tank. So, Avis, there’s our gift to you (and to the environment).

Stay away from Oakville Grade if you know what’s good for you.

California dreaming

I'm writing from wine country, CA. Dude. This place rocks. The last time The Husband and I were here, it was almost 10 years ago exactly. It was the trip where he asked me to marry him.

So, we're back and some things have changed quite a bit. For one, our entire trip was not planned out to the second in glorious detail (our nickname for the yesteryear trip was 'TOE' --Tour of Exhaustion). It's been quite the opposite.  For another, we have considerably more funds to do this trip right this time. Last time, we were on a very. tight. budget.

I wasn't planning on posting, but, LORD, the material I have so far on this trip just begs to be posted.

The flight out.

We flew out of Dulles. Since the last time I flew out of there, they seemed to have improved their security line process considerably. No longer was there a line snaking out right behind the ticket counters, but you go down to a shiny new area where you are processed. It seems like an improvement, the space at least, but for reasons unbeknownst to me, some worker dude had a bunch of us detour down a different  line path. This path was THE WRONG PATH. It took forever. Then they directed us to other sub-lines, and people were entering these sub-lines from the other end. And we barely moved. And others were flying through the lines. By the time we got to the terminal, we had like 15 minutes before the flight was scheduled to leave. Grrrr. New anti-terrorist measure: create such gross inefficiency that people can not make their flights. Actually, wondering whether that worker dude had an official TSA badge. MAYBE THIS IS ALL A PLOT.

We had to stop and get coffee and I thought it was probably a good idea to get some breakfast to go since it was a 5-6 hr flight and only food for purchase (a.k.a $5 box of blah) and ordered a breakfast sandwich at Dunkin Donuts. Here, the terrorism plot continued. The guy fixes both our coffees then pauses as if to ask himself, "Now what do I do?" I said, "The sandwich! Do the sandwich!" Suffice it to say that I ran ahead to get my seat while JP offered to wait for my sandwich since I had the middle seat and he the aisle.

Time was ticking. We had less than 10 minutes. I ran and got into line, looking back nervously every few seconds to make sure JP made it. (He did)

But, when I got to my seat, the overhead storage areas were pretty full. I looked around, tried to move people's coats around up there to find room for my bag. I saw that the storage area just behind my seat had some room. A small flat bag with a jacket took up a large space. Of course, I'm holding up everyone else at this point and feeling not cool. I started to try and rearrange the space and the woman below - a gray-haired woman doing a crossword puzzle - looks up at me and says, "I don't think your bag is going to fit. LOOK AT IT UP THERE. There's no room."

I was flustered. I said, "I think if this bag was stacked, there would be room."

She looks up again from her puzzle and looks directly at me with icy hate, "I don't want my bag stacked."

I looked at her. She was pure evil incarnate. Satan. Satan doing a crossword.

I didn't know what to do. There was no where else to fit my bag. I just stood there. Like a statue. Frozen by Satan.

The guy behind me saved me. He said, there's room in that overhead compartment. I said with gritted teeth and a smile, but she doesn't want her bag stacked. He understood and stepped up to rearrange her bag, saying, well, we need to make room for everyone's bags, and then made room for my suitcase, put it in, and went on his merry way.

I love you stranger!

Finally, I sat in my seat, and told The Husband of my adventures with She-Devil (who was sitting directly behind him), just loudly enough. I'll see your nastitude, and raise you some passive-aggressiveness!

Next chapters...Renting a hybrid and trying to burn gas.

Wine ta$ting

and more!

Cough month flashback

Hi! Remember me? I'm that snow lady who only talked about snow for a week straight and then disappeared into a snowbank. Well, the snow has finally melted (almost) and also the TB-like cough (not the blood part but the public infectious scourge kind) I've had for 3 weeks (originating from that Darkest Day) finally left too, so all in all, I'm feeling better.

Well, better is probably not the word. I've seem to substitute mania for distress and while I enjoy mania more, it's not exactly relaxing.

I need relaxation,really.

There's so much I want to tell you, Internet friends, but ohmygodihavelike5minutes TOPS I can write something. I kid you not. 5 minutes. At 6 am on Sunday morning. Mania.

Recap/highlights of this past period that I will refer to as Cough Month:

• Why did I take on so many projects?
• Forgetting Fish Friday until it was too late
• Gave up sweets for Lent (how original), then had frozen yogurt from a I-95 rest stop this past Friday night and remembered part-way into my definitely-not-a-sweet oreo blizzard-like concotion. Side note: NEVER go to a rest stop at 9 pm on Friday night. It is not safe. It's usually scary in there but Friday night is a whole different level of unpleasantness.
• Why did I take on so many projects?
• OH! Got my haircut back into that orb/bob! Had been enjoying the increased length, ponytails, etc, but then had a yearning to look like a woman of style again. I had just let it go since last getting it cut so many months ago. Plus, I had 2 big presentations to give (one over, one forthcoming), scratch that 3 big presentations (one in a month) - crap - and I wanted to look nice.
• Had a retail experience at Ann Taylor that was heavenly. Therapeutic. Their spring line rocks.
• Was in NYC for a full-day conference - it was one of those days where you feel like a million bucks, just comfortable leading and on your game.
• Staying up late every night (and then on alternate nights, falling asleep involuntarily from exhaustion) trying to put together these first two work presentations - the upcoming one which is a national talk THAT IS NOT DONE YET. I have like 6 days. Um, yes.
• Headed to the west coast! Need to pack now.

Life to settle down a little after this next weekend (not much but a tiny bit before the insanity that comes with even bigger presentation #3). Hope to be writing more since I have some funny stories to tell.

What I did on my blizzard staycation, Part 4

Photo-documentary

At the height of the weekend blizzard

Rare moment of non-Satanic possession

Cabin Fever, Exhibit A.

Attack of the ginormous mutant S'more 
  
   

Wind-swept snow into fondant landscapes (Blizzard 2)

Cabin fever, Exhibit B.

 

What I did on my blizzard staycation, Part 2

I don't  know why everyone seems to be looking forward to hearing Part 2 since I already indicated it was a dark (black, awful, rotten, stinking) chapter of the staycation, but anyway, the Lowlights of Sunday (since there were no highlights):

• Hurt. All over. But, especially any muscle on top half of body (a.k.a. The Shoveling Martyrs)
• Both children WHINING. FIGHTING. When not WHINING or FIGHTING, they are ANNOYING ME.
• Boy wants to be held. Now. Also now. And now. Can you hold me now? Not sitting, STANDING UP, MAMA! STAND UP! Your arms could use the extra workout, fyi.
• Ibuprofen. Tylenol. Coffee. Need IV.
• Nanny NOT HOME YET. Feel deserted and left to die.
• Called service Sat night to shovel our LONG shared driveway that is currently filled with 30 in of snow. Between me and couple next door, WE ARE IMPOTENT AGAINST THIS MUCH SNOW. Supposed to arrive at noonish. Leave sweet, pleasant, non-desperate message at 3pm saying (nicely): DONDE ESTA?
• If I wasn't sure if I was going to contract Boy's virus that also now has infected GIrl, my SHAKING CHILLS answer the question for me. (more hints: headache, abdominal pain, fever, more chills)
• Whining, fighting, annoying continue with a good dollop of IGNORING ANYTHING I SAY thrown in.
• Put on sweatshirt on top of sweater, in addition to long underwear and warm up pants. Still freezing.
• Find AND APPLY SNUGGIE TO MY PERSON.
• Walk around wearing SNUGGIE, barking useless orders to mutinous crew. It is straight out of a nightmare. NIGHTMARE IN THE SNUGGIE.

Sorry, one highlight:

• MIL arrives on the scene! She came to "check up on us" and must have sensed I was slowly dying. Had to park far away and hoof it; apparently roads are like winters in the wild west. Entertains Girl while I shiver under snuggie and hold Boy. MIL shovels a path to the street! MIL is awesome.

Back to lowlights:

• MIL leaves.
• Call Nanny. DONDE ESTA? She's coming later tonight. OR SO SHE SAID.
• Fevers, chills, and all-around bodily joy escalate
• Children with frequent crying, bickering, still not listening. Chant "Cook-ie! Cook-ie!" as I try to corral them to sit down to DINNER.
• Small eruption.
• Give them a double bath. More bickering, fighting.
• Lose it right there, next to the tub. Start crying. Beg them to get out now since Mommy DOES NOT FEEL WELL. Head pounding. Just want to curl up in bed and sleep.
• Girl climbs out, hugs Mama. Tiny moment of empathy.
• Boy oblivious. Takes another 5 minutes to get him out.
• Finally sleep early, woken up at 9 pm by call from plowing service. Will be here in an hour. Thanks, but no thanks. Dude it's TOO LATE.
• Girl coughing too much, can't sleep, in my bed by 2 am. Now have coughing in my ear and sounds of her violent sniffling. Sleep quality has gone way down.
• Realize at 2am as I'm downstairs trying to find Girl's medicine, that nanny has NOT RETURNED. Doom.

There. Good times.